Womb Escape! Really??!

It’s my birthday!!!

I’m all giddy with excitement but first I’m grateful to God for giving me the grace to be alive. I have the day all planned out.  It has to be amaaaazing! (the best has to be my wedding day). 

No work! No priorities! No worries!

This year’s celebration has to be better than the last. I had made sure nothing was going to ruin my day. I even took the week off from work to make sure everything is as planned.

I already have pretty set of pictures from the photoshoot I took at the beginning of the week. They are fleeky! This is not me being proud. Everything popping! I already have the caption set (my sister and I already took out time to write it).

Chill…don’t get me wrong. I don’t have anything special planned out. I just have to feel like a princess today because it’s my special day. I already ordered a cake though (if no one is going to surprise me, I have the right to pamper myself. Right??)

Yeah..so right before I post my dope pictures on social media, I quickly skim through messages from my family and friends. They make me feel all warm and loved till my eyes fall on that one message that almost ruined my day.

“Happy womb escape dear”

Really?!! Womb Escape!

Am I the only one who thinks this is ridiculous?

You know how certain words leave funny taste in your mouth? It’s not just the funny taste this time, add gross, nasty and unpleasant. That’s how it feels after every attempt to say that word.

Try saying it out loud, you will understand. Maybe.


After all the memories we’ve made together! After how far we’ve come (even if our friendship is a few seconds old – it has to count for something yeah??). So the only thing you could think to write is “Womb escape?” For real? Some dumb shit always comes immediately after that line.

You know, I see that womb escape thing so many times but never had it been directed to me. I see it a lot and don’t get me started on what usually comes after…

I didn’t escape!

For real, I didn’t.

The womb that carried me wasn’t a jail or a trap that I had to break out from. It was a vessel that formed me and was supposed to release me after my time in there. It did. Even though I can’t remember anything right now, I’m sure I had a nice time in there. If it was an escape, I would have come out looking all haggard and tattered.

Lol. Don’t mind me.

On a more serious note though, it won’t kill you to write the simple “Happy Birthday” we have grown to know and love.

No child is born wearing war clothes or looking like they just lived through the sixth season of prison break that we’re still yet to see. They look all adorable and cute.

Happy Birthday has that special ring to it that womb escape won’t have.




A/N: I know I can be a bad friend sometimes and forget to wish you guys Happy Birthday, but I just want y’all to know that you didn’t escape from the womb.  

It was meant to be.





13 thoughts on “Womb Escape! Really??!

  1. 😂😂😂😂 – you got me at the prison break part… Pained ass nigga.
    You never can tell, the person probably saw you when you “escaped” from the womb😏😌. Eeyah… Now we know you weren’t a cute baby at birth🙊🙊

    Liked by 1 person

  2. 😂😂…exactly what I feel about the womb escape thing. It is funny how some people even post birthday pictures wishing themselves happy womb escape.

    Nice write up 👏👏👏

    Liked by 2 people

  3. OmG, lol, i see that a whole lot but never for once did i stop to think bout it, looking at it now, ‘escape’ and ‘womb’ don’t fit.
    😂😂 it’s quite unfortunate tho, after so much plan.. ‘Happy womb escape’ 😂😹😂

    Very nice 👏👏👏👏👏

    Liked by 2 people

    1. 😂😂😂 @Rjay..Very painful ooo
      Did you try saying it out loud too? I couldn’t find the exact words to describe how yucky womb escape sounds (If there’s anything like that).
      Thanks. I’m glad you like it

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yeah i did say it out for the first and last time, lol got me thinking, is it actually possible to escape from the womb and if it is, where exactly would you escape to, the chest ? Lol, i just read the whole thing again n i can’t seem to get over it 😂😂😂 womb escape indeed

        Liked by 2 people

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